We now return to KITT-FM, where it's all kittens, all the time. And now, heeeere's your hostess, broadcasting live from our studios in Purrbank, Catifornia - Mother Catresa!
I'm Mother Catresa. And I approve this message.
Here's the news flash from our anchor, Anita Kittykiss:
"In the year 2008, Mother Catresa, otherwise known as the Patron Saint of Homeless Felines, rescued a total of 29 felines at her sanctuary, the University of Catsylvania at Pittsburgh. And what did her opponents, the irresponsible cat owners, do? They dumped them for convenience, or were otherwise negligent or abusive. Shame, shame, shame. Vote Mother Catresa for secretary of animal welfare!"
Alright, just sort of kidding. You can tell we're wrapping up an election year, huh?
But seriously, 29 is the grand total I counted. Following is the roster of UC-Pittsburgh's graduating class of 2008:
The Texas kittens: Dallas, Sue Ellen, Austin and Elise
The EMMM kittens: Eeenie, Meenie, Minie and Moe
The serial killers: Jeffrey, Ted, Hanny and Lizzy
The game kittens: Uno, Clue, Boggle and Scrabble (though, they were so antisocial that it wasn't exactly a successful full rescue)
The ice cream kittens: Spumoni, Neopalitan, Rocky Road, Cookie Dough and Butter Pecan
The "R" kittens: Rebecca and Radcliffe
The "L"/Peanuts kittens: Linus, Lucy and Lori (what happened with them? I'll tell you later).
The lone Christmas kitten: Tinsel, an orange tabby girl currently with me and staying awhile (again, more later).
Plus, the two returning adult alumni: Darius, who got adopted recently, and Rachael Ray, whose shmucky owner just returned her to the shelter for a frivolous reason. Poor baby! More later.
Hey, did you hear that? I think it's that anthem called "Pomp and Circumstance!"
Mother Catresa wishes her departing graduates all the best and happiness in life, and sends them off with oodles of love. And, should their homes not work out, Mama C will be there to care for them again. UC-Pittsburgh has a wonderful, devoted alumni club!
Here's to a happy 2009 for all of us, including you and yours. These are tough times we're in, but I saw the Broadway play "Annie" last week, and I am reminded by the adorable orphan's optimism: "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you're always a day away."
And for those kitties who will live the hard-knock life in 2009, Mother Catresa looks forward to rescuing them and caring for them in a loving "orphanage," where she cares a lot more than a smidge. No Miss Hannigans here!
Happy New Year, everyone!
Patron Saint of Homeless Felines
(and the "smitten kitten")