Tuesday, December 30, 2008

UC-Pittsburgh, Class of 2008

We now return to KITT-FM, where it's all kittens, all the time. And now, heeeere's your hostess, broadcasting live from our studios in Purrbank, Catifornia - Mother Catresa!

Hi folks!

I'm Mother Catresa. And I approve this message.

Here's the news flash from our anchor, Anita Kittykiss:

"In the year 2008, Mother Catresa, otherwise known as the Patron Saint of Homeless Felines, rescued a total of 29 felines at her sanctuary, the University of Catsylvania at Pittsburgh. And what did her opponents, the irresponsible cat owners, do? They dumped them for convenience, or were otherwise negligent or abusive. Shame, shame, shame. Vote Mother Catresa for secretary of animal welfare!"

Alright, just sort of kidding. You can tell we're wrapping up an election year, huh?

But seriously, 29 is the grand total I counted. Following is the roster of UC-Pittsburgh's graduating class of 2008:

The Texas kittens: Dallas, Sue Ellen, Austin and Elise
The EMMM kittens: Eeenie, Meenie, Minie and Moe
The serial killers: Jeffrey, Ted, Hanny and Lizzy
The game kittens: Uno, Clue, Boggle and Scrabble (though, they were so antisocial that it wasn't exactly a successful full rescue)
The ice cream kittens: Spumoni, Neopalitan, Rocky Road, Cookie Dough and Butter Pecan
The "R" kittens: Rebecca and Radcliffe
The "L"/Peanuts kittens: Linus, Lucy and Lori (what happened with them? I'll tell you later).
The lone Christmas kitten: Tinsel, an orange tabby girl currently with me and staying awhile (again, more later).
Plus, the two returning adult alumni: Darius, who got adopted recently, and Rachael Ray, whose shmucky owner just returned her to the shelter for a frivolous reason. Poor baby! More later.

Hey, did you hear that? I think it's that anthem called "Pomp and Circumstance!"

Mother Catresa wishes her departing graduates all the best and happiness in life, and sends them off with oodles of love. And, should their homes not work out, Mama C will be there to care for them again. UC-Pittsburgh has a wonderful, devoted alumni club!

Here's to a happy 2009 for all of us, including you and yours. These are tough times we're in, but I saw the Broadway play "Annie" last week, and I am reminded by the adorable orphan's optimism: "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you're always a day away."

And for those kitties who will live the hard-knock life in 2009, Mother Catresa looks forward to rescuing them and caring for them in a loving "orphanage," where she cares a lot more than a smidge. No Miss Hannigans here!

Happy New Year, everyone!


Mother Catresa
Patron Saint of Homeless Felines
(and the "smitten kitten")

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A Charlie Brown Cats-mas

We now return to KITT-FM, where it's all kittens, all the time. And now, heeeeere's your hostess - broadcasting live from our studios in Purrbank, Cat-ifornia - Mother Catresa!

Hi folks!

I just returned from a lovely Thanksgiving visit with my dearest friends - all of whom, incidentally, are dog people but devoted MC fans - in my old stomping grounds, Dallas. Before I left, I returned kitten siblings Rebecca and Radcliff, who were snatched up like discounted plasma TVs at Wal-Mart on Black Friday. I thought I would be returning to a quiet, kittenless winter at home with my own three cats. But no - the kitten fairy has visited Mother Catresa for another encore, and apparently, she likes the Peanuts!

I contacted the shelter today, and said I'd be ready for kittens, if by chance there are any, or an adult foster cat by this weekend. Wouldn't you know it, they have three babies waiting just for me, and their names are Linus, Lucy and Lori. I don't know where the Lori came from, but Linus and Lucy - ah, some of my favorite cartoon characters! I have that Peanuts tune running through my head, along with that hilarious "Wah-WAH-Wah-Wah" sound that the cartoon uses whenever an adult speaks.

It's perfect timing for a Peanuts litter, since we're in the midst of the holiday classic specials. Actually, I'll probably be watching "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving," belatedly, and "A Charlie Brown Christmas" this week, and it will be all the more fun with these new furry kids around. I say this litter begs for a sequel, even if it has to wait until spring, with these kittens: Charlie Brown, Sally, Pigpen, Schroeder, Snoopy, Woodstock, Peppermint Patty and Marcie.

Meanwhile, Butter "Butthead" Pecan from the ice cream litter finally has been adopted, as have Darius and Rachael Ray (my two alumni who returned to me as adult fosters). I was on the verge of adopting Darius, whom I had nicknamed "Spider-Cat" for his manic, fly-through-the-room ways, and "King Darius of Purrsia." He is, after all, the kitten of my very own Dharma, one of my cats. But a sentimental reunion it was not; Dharma, either oblivious or unconcerned that this was her son, gave that precocious stinker a good butt-whipping whenever he approached her. And Rum Tum Tugger, bless his elderly heart, spent much of his time hiding under my bed during Darius' reign of terror. It took my senior Rum Tum awhile to fully come out from his shell once Darius had left. It's like he was tip-toeing around, wondering whether the coast was clear and free from Hurricane Darius.

I miss that handsome tuxedoed cat, but I know it's for the best that he be in another home. Rum Tum deserves to spend his golden years in peace. That laid-back, sweet little orange tabby has been such a trooper. First, he loses his lifelong companion, Buster, last Halloween. Then, within a few months, two sassy young females move in. When the hyperactive Darius - who spent a few hours each day with the run of the house - came along, poor old Rum Tum had had enough.

"Oh, Mooooom," I could hear him plead. "Say it ain't so!"

When, Rum Tum thought, are you going to stop doing this to me?

Consider it over, my furry friend. You are safe now, except for those bossy females who might bug you sometimes.

I will write again soon about the Peanuts kittens. I pick up those blockheads on Saturday, and oh, I can't wait!

Until next time, I remain,

Mother Catresa
Patron Saint of Homeless Felines
(and the "smitten kitten")